Today, I woke up with a strong urgency to write on Love and Yoga. There is a lot on my mind these days but nothing is in order. Did you read my post on my self diagnosed “Type A- Personality Syndrome”? You can perhaps imagine why having pickles of thoughts can disturb a person like me. This is my sole motivation for an attempt to write something.
I want to write on the recent news in Anusara Yoga community, our journey back to America, my love affair with my journal, our yoga training, the adventures of witnessing our two friends getting married, and list goes on. Where do I begin though? The obvious answer is, one topic at a time. Right? Yes, of course…but
Now as my finger tips reach for each letter my index finger is starting to create a pattern of jumping to the “delete” button more than usual. This is exactly how it happens. This is how it happens to most of the times. Thus, I keep deleting and deleting until an hour or two has passed by, then my mind goes for a stroll in this dark dungeon, before I even realize that’s where my mind has gone, it’s too late. I am already there and the thoughts like this creepy in… “You are not a writer. Stop writing. You are not a writer. Stop writing.” Believe it or not, this rhythm continues until I feel like crap or I start to cry and then all of a sudden … “Oh crap! Why am I in this unconscious dungeon?” Then I start to cry again for coming here once again.
I found myself in that same dungeon today, fifteen minutes ago. Then all of a sudden, I looked up and turned on a light. Now, here I sit with 250+ words as I scroll up and down at the marvel of surrendering to my fear, writing.
I read this quote today which sums up my journey in writing this post today. Dale Carnegie said, ”Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”
Could it be this simple?
Yes!!! My life in the last 232 days since landing back in America has been full of little joys like this one today. The journey continues one day at a time with love and yoga.